Siblings. Halloween. Hot Messes.

You're lying. It is not almost November.  There is no way that it's been almost a year since I went back to work, since Ellie was a baby, since Madison was still in daycare.  There's just no way.  

I am not five months away from 40.  Don't you dare.  Halloween is two weeks away, Christmas is two months away, and do you know how fast that is with two little kids?  It's a combination speed, light speed and turtle.   Lightle.   Everyday with them is an adventure, a test of our patience and our hearts grow three sizes, much like our favourite Christmas movie star.  Which yes, we have already watched once this fall.  It's month nine-hundred-seventy-seven in Covid land and we've run out of tv shows to watch together so we moved on to follow a low-life gambler trying to get rich quick with English subtitles, in edge of your seat plot twists.  If you know, you know. 

But in these past ten months my girls have grown leaps and bounds.  As they should, of course, but when it happens in front of your eyes and you stop and reflect you really see just how far they have come.  Ellie has grown into a beautiful little girl, who loves bath time and singing songs.  She also is our kid who is going through the terrible twos.  We are learning every day how to handle her fierce personality and marginally defiant behaviour.  Maddy never ever went through this, she was even tempered and well mannered.  The only time I ever considered leaving her in a grocery store aisle was when she lost her mind because I wouldn't let her lick the floor in a Walmart toilet paper aisle (I have the picture to prove it).  But Ellie...*sigh*...Ellie...that girls gonna get to know the underarm-football carry real quick.  She is so, so smart and she knows what she wants.  That's a deadly combination at this point because she doesn't have the vocabulary to say what's wrong.  She's resorted to biting Madison or thumping her head on the floor out of frustration.  I tell you what though, I never thought that as tiny little kids I'd be breaking up fights, but my lord, if I do it once in a day I do it a dozen times.  I hoped this stage came when Ellie could at least defend herself...turns out it's Maddy we need to worry about!   More than once I hear giggling, laughing fits and then in an instant it's screeching, crying "Moooommmmmmm ELLIE BIT ME!!"  I break up whatever fight is on going, Ellie usually has to go to a two minute time out and Maddy needs constant reassurance that her bite mark isn't bleeding and that it's going to be okay.   I fear we are in for a few wild years in front of us.  When Ellie learns to speak, and outgrows Madison (which will happen, I guarantee it) she's gonna clock her sister.  If anyone has tips to weather this incoming storm let me know.  My brothers would play rough but I don't recall either of them having a temper.  My mom would absolutely have stories to share, I've got to get the details on those! 

The thing with Ellie is that she is so damn sweet.  She carries around a ratty ass babydoll, who never ever wears clothes, and loves on this thing like its her own baby.  She will proudly sing her ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle, and No More Monkeys.  She loves playing in Madison's makeup and jewellery, she can name every body part on her little body.  She eats like a champ, sleeps like a champ, loves to play play-doh and colour with her big sister.   This includes colouring on our couch, on her own skin and chasing the dog around with a pink marker.  She is so settled in her daycare routine that she has made friends and is excited every day to go to Jaymee's.  When we drop off Madison at her before-school program she watches out the window as we turn the corner and she says to Madison "Bye sister".  Maddy replies "Bye Sissy", and I tear up.  Maybe it's because I don't have a sister, I don't get the dynamic, but goddamn do these girls bring me to tears all the time.  I know they will outgrow the fighting.  But that love is forever.

** This is the part where I explain to you that I started this blog in the middle of October and just now, in the middle of January, am I getting around to finishing it  #momlife **

Halloween seems like forever ago now! It was an interesting few weeks as we approached the big event, Madison was decided on her costume up until the day before.  The internet told me don't buy your kid a costume until the day before because said kid is going to change their mind fifteen times.  For once, I believed something I read on the internet.  And even though she wanted to be a princess of some sort she was playing dress up the day before at home and found a black dress.  And proceeds to loudly, adamantly declare ' I want to be a witch ! '.  Well, fuck.   Good thing I'm off the next day and can furiously drive around the SE looking for a witch costume.   If you live here you know the 130th area, and it's a disaster anytime of day.   Well I went to 5 different stores looking for anything witch, and it's all gone.  scraps and mismatched, discarded wigs and black dresses.  I was fresh out of luck.  I sat in the Walmart parking lot trying to figure out how to make this happen for my baby girl as I scrolled FB Marketplace.  Nothing.  In a Hail Mary attempt I opened my kijiji app.  Who even uses kijiji anymore?  I think it's only for people selling stolen iPhones and my husband searching for old computers to buy.  

Search:  girl witch costume 

Result:  $20 bucks.  Sparkly hat, sparkly broom and cape. size 6. pick up in Auburn Bay. 

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!  I replied faster to that ad than it took me to buy Mariah Carey tickets and then I started driving towards her subdivision.  I didn't even have a reply from the seller but I was determined to get this costume.   She answers!  It's available and someone is at home so I fly over there.  Her husband answers the door and has no idea who I am, I roughly explain it and the wife comes home.  Phew.   I must have looked like a crazed momma.  But my baby girl got her costume.

Ellie, see she's a different girl.  She hates dressing up.   Frankly, she'd rather be undressed than put anything extra on.  Even pants and a shirt are sometimes a struggle.   But my dear, dear uncle bought her the cutest Elmo costume I've ever seen. A thin layer of clothes underneath and then she steps into the legs, and arms, just like a onesie.  Should have been the worlds easiest costume ever.  But I may as well have been skinning her alive.  M and I tried a few times over the month of October to get her into this costume. She was terrified, she screamed trying to put it on her and so we stopped.  I even left it on the floor incase she got brave enough to try it on herself.   Never happened.  She'd look at it and yell "NO ELMO!" and "I don't like it".  Well, Elmo is a bust.  I wrack my brain trying to figure out how to get her in any kind of costume.  We tried a pumpkin, we tried all the dress up things from Maddy's dress up bin.  Nothing.  At this point she was going to go as Ellie.  

The night of is always stressful.  If you're a parent and you tell me Halloween night is chill I'll probably punch you.   It's cold here, so we need warm gear underneath.  It's dinner time.  It's a school night.  The oldest is a spaz because she's been waiting so long for this day, and the youngest is a spaz because well, she's a spaz.  There's no dinner plan even thought of yet,  and it's 415.  Madison wants to get ready but its too early.  Ellie still doesn't have a costume.   But I have a headache and a growing desire to run away.  Daddy puts on Madisons witch makeup (that she hates and wants to take off because her hair keeps getting stuck to it).  She doesn't want to wear the black wig.  She forgot to wear her cape.  Ellie is in the hallway trying to eat all of the chocolates from the bowl.  I look at Mike, and he knows I'm on the verge.  He throws me a can of beer and tells me to go downstairs.  I sit on the couch in the playroom and drink half a beer in one sip, as I look around the disaster we've made in this play space.  And out of the corner of my eye I see a red jacket.  A red firefighter jacket.  And I know there is an axe, and a backpack to carry your fire extinguisher!  And there's a helmet !  Oh my GOD- ELLIE IS GOING TO BE A FIRE FIGHTER! 

I grab all the accessories and fly up the stairs two at a time, throw open the door to the kitchen and yell "A FIRE FIGHTER!".  Everyone stops and stares at me.   I've lost my mind is what I assume they are thinking.   But it's perfect.   She can wear her own clothes (the snow pants are a struggle but that's a hill I can climb) and all I have to do is put her jacket on and the fireman coat over top.  It is perfect.  Half an hour later we're out the door.  Maddy is a sparkle witch and Ellie is a firefighter.  She even let me put black makeup on her face.  *Praise the lord*.  Teaching this girl how to go door to door and say "trick or treat" was easier than I thought to be honest.  At our next door neighbours house she walked right in to the foyer and tried to grab more candy.   By house two she didn't try to go in, but wanted to get more candy than what was offered.  At house three she knew exactly what to do and was off and running.  Except it was snowy and icy, so running made her fall and I spent half the time carrying her things and picking her up from the snowbank.   We saw scary houses and filled my pockets with her candy, note to self- next year kid needs a much larger bucket!   We end the night coming home to some warm dinner and a few treats for dessert. I fall in bed after they are asleep and wonder to myself how I accomplish this next year when halloween falls on a Monday night.  

That's a future Tammy problem for sure.